Jaws of Death
by Fictype
Summary: At death's door, I can only think of why we are getting our just desserts.


I'm prepared for this. When I enlisted, this was one outcome I expected. Seeing as there wasn't much time for training, I knew we would be thrown into the battlefield unprepared and inexperienced. We were merely pawns used to see how the enemy would move. I realize that just now. And, just like my brethren at arms, the jaws of death are upon me.

This is where my life is supposed to flash right before my eyes. But instead I'm thinking about why we deserve this.

I'm not scared of my fate. Rather, I'm glad to leave this world. This world filled with people only caring about their own selves, and this world ruled by greedy aristocrats who wouldn't bat an eye at this horrible scene of slaughtered soldiers. Their very own soldiers. Those heartless cowards only care about raising their own status while hiding behind the castle walls and don't mind using a whole squad of their own people as a sacrifice. We must all survive, yet they are throwing lives left and right.

It sickens me.

We must gain victory at all costs. I understand, but if the majority of our population, our people, is gone, what is the point?

We have something which may turn the tides, but these damn cowards are too scared of it they locked it away. Saying it goes against what they believe...

But I know it's because they fear it and can't control it completely.

I admit, it induced the most fear I've ever felt before, but this may be useful in gaining information on our enemies and even as an assault on them. They lock away this thing which may help increase our chances of victory. Instead they use the lives of their very own people to try to get information on the enemy... as small as it may be. Disappointing.

However, I'm most disappointed in my brothers in arms.

Disappointed in these people who I thought were my very own brethren. We enlisted together, we trained together and we were thrown into the battlefield together. My brothers in arms. I was confident we would have each others' back. Confident we would keep each other safe. Confident that we would not abandon each other.

They abandoned the moment they saw the enemy slaughtering the front lines.

I can understand though. We were inexperienced, this was our first time setting foot on the battlefield. I saw fear, despair, hopelessness on their faces... and I'm sure those could be seen on my face as well. We knew there was nothing we could do at the face of such overwhelming and overpowering foes. True fear took over us and we all lost our composure and will to fight.

It is precisely at such a time that we must remain together. Work together to survive and make it back to our homes. Yet, at the face of overwhelming force, it was everyone for their own self.

These people I entrusted my life to cared for their own survival over anyone else's... I saw them scream at each other, saying how they want to live while the fear was taking over and they started pushing each other to find an escape route. In the chaos, they even starting fighting against each other, and when push came to shove... killing each other. I could not believe what I was seeing.

Did none of them even consider helping each other to increase our chances of survival?

No.

Every man for himself. Even if it meant staining their own hands, felling their own kindred...

Utter stupidity.

They wouldn't even listen to anyone else. Fear has taken over and the will to survive took over. Ironic. That will was the cause of their death. They were too busy running away, fighting each other, turning their backs on the enemy, exposing it... the result was expected.

I entrusted my life to them...

And the result is... that I too am about to leave this world. I won't even struggle, I accept this. There's nothing I can do. I simply laugh at this turn of events.

As the jaws of death bite down on me, I make my final thoughts:

Our priority is survival.

But are we even trying to work together?

Those in power throw the lives of soldiers.

Those soldiers lose composure at the face of terror.

They try to escape and survive, risking the lives of their squad members.

If we can't even come together, believe in each other, help each other, value each other...

We deserve these attacks by the titans.


End file.
